Fantasy electioneering

For my final ALIA Board of Directors election post, I’d like to answer the ‘question’ that @RogueXiphium asked me: “I’d like 3 day weekends please. And a pack of neverending TimTams. Delivered by the Old Spice Guy. On a unicorn.”

Well, Rogue my dear, this shouldn’t be too hard. Here’s my plan to make this happen.

First up, you could apply for a position as one of ALIA’s State/Territory Managers – it’s only 30 hours a month, and those hours are flexible, so three day weekends are yours! It’s also a really fun job – I did it myself for a bit and loved it. I can’t speak for whether or not it’ll give you enough income to pay the bills, but that wasn’t on your list.

Next up, Tim Tams. According to ALIA’s annual report from 2011, the ALIA House building in Canberra is worth $1,296,738. There’s probably been a change since then, but let’s pretend not. Woolies are currently selling Tim Tams for $2.50 a packet, and according to the interwebs there are 11 biscuits in a packet. So  if we sell ALIA House, we could buy 5,705,647 Tim Tams – around 5.7 million Tim Tams. It’s not neverending, but it’s a pretty big pile, and I’m not sure you’d ever reach the end of it, so it’s kinda the same thing.

I’m going to tackle the unicorn next. But I’m a bit surprised – Rogue, c’mon, if you don’t know where to find yourself a unicorn, what kind of derby girl are you?

So we have a giant pile of Tim Tams, and several unicorns. I believe that this is the appropriate bait to catch an Old Spice Guy, and I cannot help but think that a quick DM with proof of the existence of both of the above would entice him your (our?) way.

Done! Anything else, while I’m at it?

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3 responses to “Fantasy electioneering”

  1. Rogue says :

    This lady can do ANYTHING, people!!!

  2. Lee says :

    Frankly, reading this has made my world a better place. Even without the unicorn. Thank you Alyson!

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